the bubbles have melted . <body> <body>

我不想回到过去...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007


为什么我那么的没用、那么的虚弱、那么的失败?

我的心好烦、好乱。我什么都已不知道,我只知道自己很痛苦,很伤心。我真得很怕有一天我会承受不了。。。我根本都不想放弃。。。可是我已经很努力地尝试让自己开心。我以为自己真得很开心、很快乐。。。但那一切都是虚幻而已。这几个月来,我一直都在蒙骗自己。劝别人要开心,往好的方面去想,而我自己呢?我突然觉得自己很虚假。。。但我真的不忍心看到我身边的人痛苦。。。我只想要改变他们的看法。。。可是,为什么我就不能做回自己?为什么我总是得带着面具?我心里根本一点也不快乐。。。为什么我得装呢?我能用自欺欺人来形容自己吗?可能是因为我不想再回到过去。。。我不想当回以前忧郁、怀恨的我。。。我发誓过我要重新开始,不再去想过去。但是,这个誓愿越来越难实现。。。一直以来,虽然我遇到了重重的困难,但我不停地劝说自己,过了一会儿,就会没事了。可能是多年累积的痛苦吧。。。我不知道。。。我的心好乱好乱,我的头好痛好痛。。。

要不是为了我身边的人,我还会在这里吗?我不知道。。。

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#o4_inhershadows } 'xiaoqii-
7/17/2007 02:58:00 AM

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YOUR ONE AND ONLY;;Y ZHIQI
thirTEEN ; o2o494


|♀ LA FEMME ♀|

#] my friendster ; here
#] my email ; zhiqi0402@gmail.com
#] my msn ; zhiqi_972@hotmail.com
#] skype ; zq0402

#] horoscope ; ari3s
#] country ; s'pore
#] schools ; bpps, nhps, nygh
#] cca ; guzheng - nygz

|♥ ADORES ♥|
#| freedom, peace, tranquility, solitude, raindrops (nature), etc.
#| my messy room :P, computer, pocket pc, handphone, television, soft toys, trophies & pillow!
#| [colours] blue(shades of blue), black, white, dark purple & other dark colours
#| [interests] interior designs, fashion designs, music, psychology & technology
#| [hobbies] surfing the net, playing mmorpgs, listening to music, watching tv & movies, reading horror/mystery stories & fanfics, sleeping
#| [beverages] cappuccino, mocha, latte, lemon tea, green tea, pure & low-fat milk, coke, 7-up, pepsi, etc.
#| [food] spinach, kang kong, mei cai, satay, laksa, chicken rice, hor fun, french fries, curry chicken, onion rings, etc.
#| [subjects] math, chinese & french! <33
#| [artists/bands] backstreet boys, black eyed peas, daniel powter, david tao, eminem, fall out boy, fool's garden, fort minor, green day, hoobastank, ina, jason mraz, jay chou, jj lin, maroon 5, rascal flatts, savage garden, shawty lloyd, simple plan, slipknot, soul, zhiyang
#| [countries] singapore (my homeland!), australia, france, japan, united kingdom, america

|♪ WISHES ♪|
be daring in pursuing what you want... (:

↨ dreams ↨
- goals & targets?

#" to be a fashion designer o.O
#" to be an interior designer o.O
#" to be a psychologist o.O
#" to be a social worker/volunteer o.O

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- i can't live without 'em...

#" family
#" freedom
#" privacy
#" friends
#" love, care & concern from ya! (:
#" people whom i can trust and their trust (:
#" a good rest :(
#" laughter & tears?
#" air, water, food & shelter :P

↨ material possesions ↨
- unnecessary wants (:

#" tablet pc
#" new laptop!
#" new handphone
#" new camera for the family!
#" music player
#" 37" lcd tv in the house
#" new sling bag (cool and unique!)
#" new spectacles

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